Tumblr TransGirl / MTF Transgender Truth

…and the way I was born. The Ego is gone. So is the past, it doesn’t exist anymore. The only moment that ever really exists is the one right now. I don’t need to change my self, or my “vessel”, I am me. And I love myself…for the first time in this life.

So, how many times does it take before you get a “hint”? I mean, my brain just can not comprehend how someone can write to you numerous times, even after you don’t respond. Really, I mean…..if I wrote to someone ONCE, and they didn’t respond, it’s like……fuck off, then. I don’t need YOU to have a good time! LOL! I’m fuckin’ awesome, and if someone doesn’t respond to me, that’s their loss. But I guess it’s insecurity that does it, yeah. This dudes creeps me out and I DO NOT trust him or his imbalanced mind, but he still writes to me, over weeks of not responding back. Come on, bro, it means something. Really, it does…it means something when someone doesn’t respond. Trust is a big thing for some, and if I don’t trust ya, you get no time. I don’t have room for any more dudes in my life. I’m straight, and I’m fine just the way I am. Please, find a hobby…

…and the beautiful butterfly I let go of then has come back to me. So unexpectedly, but at such the perfect time in my lifespan. She’s older now, and grown in to such a beautiful woman, with such talent and creativity and LOVE. She sings like an Angel, plays guitar, drums, writes music, gives lessons, teaches, and just loves. She loves. She loves me. She knows me, and accepts me. She makes me want to live, to be my true to self, to love, unconditionally…without fear, hesitation or judgment. She improves the quality of my life. She picks me up if I fall down. She looks like god to me. She’s the “Angel” you always hear about, that comes in to your life when you’ve FINALLY learned to accept yourself, the WHOLE, and love yourself infinitely. It’s finally happened to me, it’s been so long, 5 long years…a Spiritual journey, experiencing anything and everything, so that I may finally know who I truly am inside. I lost almost 5 yrs of my life, I’ll never get them back, but it’s ok, because I’m me now. And now that I’ve made, now that I love the shit out of myself, I can FINALLY love someone the way I know I can, with infinite and explosive love and care. I’m so ready now, it’s been so long, I’ve waited so long, repented so long, learned so much, I’m so glad to be ALIVE. I want to LOVE and be LOVED, I want to make my own family, I want to have an AWESOME family, where you get told I LOVE YOU, EVERY DAY, without fail. Anything less than that is completely, totally and utterly unacceptable to me, my consciousness and my Spirit. I want to replace myself, replace the love in this world, it’s the only way to defeat the bad, the evil and the negative. The lover’s and the wise have to replace themselves. Bring more love, compassion, understanding and wisdom to this material world. I want to raise excellent Human Beings, HUMANIST’S, who improve their surroundings and their nature, who take responsibility for the vibrational frequencies they emit out in to the world, who love and are remembered for it. And I may have found the person to do that with, to live with, to live FOR. I have been everything, anything and anyone. I have been him, I’ve been her. I’ve been happy and sad. Depressed and alive. Laughing and crying. I had to do what I had to do in order to find out who I really am. But now I understand that…the person I like being MOST is…..me. And I know who I am now…..an intelligent, passionate and positive LOVER and HUMANIST. I am an AWESOME companion, the one who never cheated, who brought the girls home to their parents when they got too drunk, who does the right thing when nobody is looking. You can bring her to the backseat, or home to her Daddy, you’re either a REAL GENTLEMEN, or you’re not. And I know who I am. Feminizing myself, seeing how beautiful I could be, experiencing the other half of our duality, helped me to better UNDERSTAND, RESPECT and LOVE women, PROPERLY. I L-O-V-E women, I adore them, I want to please the woman I am with like no other being on this planet. I am now “the whole”, a complete Human Being, a Humanist consciousness, ready to love to the moon and back. It’s now my duty to make every ex I ever had fully regret doin’ me wrong, and make every woman wish they were with THIS FUCKIN’ GUY! Ever been with a whole and complete person? If not, you’re are missing out on the most EXPLOSIVE love making everrrrrrrr

P.S. I’d like to thank Dzogchen Buddhism for the help and guidance along the way, most certainly helped me to understand humans.

…and it didn’t go thru. Now I dont feel like writin’ it again. Maybe another time…